Aching for my own


Daily Prompt: Smell You Later

Humans have very strong scent memory. Tell us about a smell that transports you.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us TRANSPORTED.


I’m laying in bed and nursing 19 month old BusyBee to sleep. He has finally dosed off and his hair is damp with baby sweat. I nuzzle my nose into the soft sticky hair atop his head and huff that sweet and salty sweaty scent that belongs only to sleeping toddlers.

It’s like tumbling back through time.


Our house is dark. It’s the middle of the night and the only light is from the stars twinkling through the kitchen sky light. I’ve been awake for hours cuddling these two little girls. They belong to my older sister, who is getting a rare night off. I’m just a teen but I am the one that rocks them and sleeps with them and kisses boo-boos when they are visiting us.

One is four and sprawled wildly over 1/2 of the futon I share with them. She is an energetic and determined child. I say child because she defies the traditional gender perceptions and currently wishes to be a boy. Her days at our house are filled with dusty knees and climbing trees. Feisty little A never wants to wear a shirt out in the heat and wants her hair cut short.

Sweet little J is just two and curled tightly into my side, her tiny knees poking me in the ribs and her little head laying on my shoulder making my arm go numb. She is as different from her sister as can be. She is a girly girl and will sit still for hours if you will curl her long hair and paint her tiny nails. She likes to play with cheerleader and princess. A quiet child by nature, she sticks close to the grown ups, showing no interest in her sister’s adventures.

I smell their sweet little sleepy heads. There is a mix of baby shampoo and sweet salty toddler sweat. The scent fills my nostrils as my heart swells up, aching for the day when I will have my own child to hold close.

Now, 12 years later, A and J are in high school. Both stunning young women. Miss A is as determined as ever about life and hoping to join the military upon completion of high school. She’s come into her femininity on her own and has been in a committed relationship with her boyfriend for nearly two years. Little J is now growing up quickly as well. She is just as sweet as when she was little, sticking close to a tight knit group of friends at school. She still takes time out to chat with her auntie, and even confides in me when a boy has broken her tender heart.

Finally, it is my turn to be the mother to a small child with the adorable, wild, little BusyBee.


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